He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i think i just lost a toe
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
