apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
