Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.

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(806): Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY. http://tfl.nu/w16e

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.

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(920): My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas. http://tfl.nu/6lzb

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.

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(701): I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America. http://tfl.nu/w2zj

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(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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(514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.

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(781): I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed. http://tfl.nu/ju0g

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(410): View more from Maryland

I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

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(410): I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx http://tfl.nu/s1q1

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

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(715): i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead. http://tfl.nu/xiio

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(830): View more from Texas

What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple

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(830): What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple http://tfl.nu/5qs4

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."

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(724): She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you." http://tfl.nu/lx6r

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height

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(780): The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height http://tfl.nu/mxot

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

She still started it.

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(651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.

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(606): I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm. http://tfl.nu/129h

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave

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(575): I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave http://tfl.nu/cqqt

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(708): View more from Illinois

what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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(708): what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in? http://tfl.nu/gh3z

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(415): View more from California

I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.

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(415): I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided. http://tfl.nu/izkw

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