I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize