Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
