yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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