Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
