at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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