i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
