Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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