Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
