Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize