they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
