Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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