when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
