yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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