When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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