Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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