I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
