im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
