# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
