standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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