Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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