We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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