You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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