oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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