his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
