God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
