I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
