My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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