considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
