he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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