Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
