he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
