If i come over, it means nothing
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
