I cannot find my penis.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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