Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
