the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize