I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
