Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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