brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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