I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
