just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize