check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
