he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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