i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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