i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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