i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize