the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
