spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
