New invention idea: vibrating tampons
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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