Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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