Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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