I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
