The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
