My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
