This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
