So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
