i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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