butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
