Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
