I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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