I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
