yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
