what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You pole danced in your parka.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
