You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
