Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
