I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
