Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
