She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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